3. Megan Beckham Q&A
Being a mother truly means everything to me. I feel so incredibly blessed to hold this title. Being a mom is more hard work than I could have ever imagined. Being a mom is your life, your body, your mind, your emotions, and your heart, never being the same again, and never wanting it to be. Being a mother is raw and real- the highest highs the lowest lows and praying with everything in you that you are saying the right words, doing the right things, and teaching the right lessons. Motherhood not only defines you, but it refines you in the places you sometimes didn’t even know you needed- and in the places you don’t always want to shed light. Motherhood is simply beautiful!
For me, motherhood is such a juxtaposition of beauty and pain rolled into one package. Beauty in tiny baby giggles, sweet freckles, popsicles on the porch in the summer, the sound of laughter echoing in the house, seeing a child mesmerized by twinkling Christmas light, pillowforts, all of the mundane day in and day out care that takes place... packing lunches, homework, practices, etc.
Pain in knowing one day those things end, a new season comes, and it doesn’t last forever. One day the little boy or girl that sits on your lap and wants one more bedtime story will be the same grown man or woman that moves away and starts their own life, that you can no longer be their “shield” from harm, that you have to have complete faith and trust in whatever plan God has for their life. Motherhood is forever, but this specific moment in time is so fleeting and there is nothing you can do to stop it... that is the most difficult thing about being a mother for me.
3. What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
I truly LOVE being a mom. It is the greatest “job” I could ever have. I love watching my children learn new things, see new places, and have new experiences. I love laughing with my children and being silly. I love creating what I hope they will look back on as a magical childhood where game nights, celebrations for no reason, car karaoke, surprise adventures, tea parties on fine China, and baking treats together “just because” were the norm. I love being able to teach my children about kindness and being light in this world. In our world today and the current cultural climate, I feel it is more necessary than ever and I do not take the responsibility lightly. I am honored to have that opportunity, and I pray that they will be shining examples in their classrooms and one day in their community on what kindness, love, and compassion look like. I love that I get to see each of their personalities blossom and see their unique talents and giftings shine. I love that I am their safe place. The world is chaotic, life can be stressful or hard even for children, but to know that I am their safe place to land is the most beautiful blessing. I love that I get to be stretched and humbled daily. I am truly just thankful beyond any words and love being a mother!4. Is there a moment or event that changed the way you view motherhood?
My first child , Brooks, was an unplanned pregnancy. I was 23 years old, and had just started dating my now husband. I was living a life that was really all about me. I partied hard, I really did not have regard for others, I was selfish, I lived my life for the world, and was so far away from the values I was raised with. April 14, 2012, I took a pregnancy test and I was shocked to see the positive result. I was so filled with embarrassment wondering what others would think, shame in knowing my parents would be so disappointed, and the realization that I was so far and wayward from The Lord. I remember an overwhelming feeling that trumped the negative though, and it was the epiphany that God is such a loving and good God, that he saw me fit to be the recipient of the most precious gift of my child, even in the midst of sinfulness and shameful life. I remember crying and just being so completely overwhelmed that he chose me to be this baby’s mother. I am so thankful for the Christian values instilled in me through my childhood, because at that moment, I prayed and asked The Lord to please just forgive me for being so far from him. He welcomed me back, and I promised and made a commitment from that day forward that I would be the best mother I could be, because he saw me fit even in the midst of my despair. April 14,2012 is my sobriety date, and I have never had a sip of alcohol again (that’s 9 years if you’re counting!). My husband also began his sobriety that year in September. We are so thankful everyday for the gift of Brooks and the gift of sobriety and a new lease and outlook on life- with a clear mind not clouded by alcohol.
I fail daily at being a mom, trust me- I get frustrated, I lose my patience, I have bad days... but, I will never forget the blessing I’ve been given and that I absolutely did not deserve it. I recognize how many women try and try, and the hardships so many face to conceive, so for me, that makes me even more appreciative and gives me a spirit of thankfulness, and allows me to see motherhood through the lens of joy.
A couple of years later we welcomed our baby girl, Ruby June. She was everything we ever dreamed of in a daughter and more. We enjoyed our life as a family, but started to feel a pull toward adoption.
Our family was “complete”, yet it seemed like there was more in store for us. We wrestled with the thought of disrupting our perfect family unit, and we worried about all of the “what-ifs”. We began to pray about this life-changing decision, and we made our prayer that whatever God would want for our life, he would just give the direction. We would pray this prayer for over 2 years. My husband and I began to get involved with a local non-profit (1U Project) that supports a Christian orphanage in the country of Ukraine. Part of 1U Project’s work is bringing over children from this orphanage for “summer hosting”, which is the child staying with a family for 8 weeks in the summer. We went to several different events, and at one event at Hickory Hills CC , I saw a girl, and I immediately felt something in my spirit and I asked about her story. I sat at the pool sobbing quietly with big sunglasses on as everyone talked and kids played. I knew then and there she was our daughter. We began to pray more about this decision and my husband also began to feel this was what was meant to be. We are now in the process of adopting this sweet girl and her brother, ages 14 and 17. We have been working on this for over a year and a half and there have been so many trials and moments I’ve wanted to give up. However, I know that these children, just like children all around the world simply need love. There are children here in Springfield that just need someone to open up their home and let them have a safe place.
All of these things have already and will continue to change my perspective on motherhood. Once again, I am so humbled that God would choose the most unlikely people to carry out his work, that we would have the chance to partner with a ministry that serves orphans in a country plagued by alcoholism, and most of these children’s stories begin with neglect and abuse by alcoholic parents... only God can arrange for 2 recovered alcohol abusers to do that, and for the ending to be a beautiful story. Our story has continually been a story of redemption and beauty coming from ashes, and I am so humbled and thankful everyday that I am able to be just a small vessel in his ocean and in this world to share the selflessness (only perfectly done by Jesus!) and not just the feeling of love, but the service that comes with love, with my own family. I am so imperfect and I am so Full of mess and ugliness, but I am so incredibly thankful for kids and a husband that love me and5. Do you feel like your purpose has shifted before and after becoming a mom?
Before I became a mom, I graduated college with a Bachelors Degree of Science in Political Science. Once I graduated, I took some time to decide what my next steps looked like, and what my calling really was...I was not sure if I wanted to go to law school and pursue a political career, or if I wanted to move to Nashville and become a country star. I wish I was kidding! So, I took some time and went to work. I loved working and I was good at it! I made a great living and I was able to purchase my first car on my own, and my first house at the age of 23! I was a mess inside, and my lifestyle was a mess, but in the eyes of the world, I was a young, single, sharp, determined girl with her stuff together.
An unplanned pregnancy stopped me in my tracks and put my big dreams on hold. What I didn’t realize at that time, was my “unplanned” pregnancy, was anything but “unplanned” to The Lord, and my purpose was already being revealed to me, even though It would be years before I could actually see it.
I loved everything about being a mother, but I was young and I was still searching. I viewed my worth and my success through the eyes of what the world conditioned me to think that was. So, I tried it all. I started a business making wreaths (they were bad), I bought a monogram machine and started monogramming things to sell (I can’t sew and I certainly can’t monogram- quality control was an issue) , I became a “photographer” (aka- My husband bought me a nice camera), I signed up to sell whatever the next best thing was- essential oils, makeup, skincare, more makeup and skincare...the next one guaranteed to be better than the last, oh- and I was awful and really didn’t “sell” anything to anyone except to myself.
I set out to become a blogger, I bought expensive designer bags and shoes and things I didn’t need, but they would look good on my page. They would give people the illusion that I had nice things, and I was put together.... the truth was I lived in yoga pants, but they didn’t need to know that! Only, that was short-lived too.
Each and every time I tried something new, I was sure it was the thing that would bring me fulfillment. Sure, I loved being a mom (and a wife), but didn’t I have to be more? Wasn’t I supposed to be doing something besides only taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, and being a taxi driver? Each time I thought I had the solution, and each time I was wrong.
You see, I started to have a shift in my perspective after years of this cycle, and I started to believe that being a mom IS enough. Through prayer, through tears, through self-discovery, and through God whispering to my heart, I started to understand that the calling he placed on my life to be a mom was not intended to be secondary to what I was seeking for myself, it was intended to be my life’s work. I started to see myself and my role as a mother through a new lens, and with new meaning and purpose. I started to understand that some people ARE called to be a mother while doing other things and/or while having successful careers, but that doesn’t mean that I am. I started to realize that comparing my journey with friends, family, people in my community, and even actual bloggers (you know, the ones that have more than 100 followers like me..) was clouding my vision, and was really just doing myself a disservice.
Slowly but surely, I found more and more confidence in carrying out my calling of being a mom. The energy I spent searching, has been replaced with rest. I am able to rest in knowing that my calling is the highest honor. I have begun to realize that the work I GET to do is not glamorous but it is so incredibly rewarding. I have found that the more I settle in and the more I fond my place in the background and not in the spotlight the more fulfilled I feel. I know I will not receive a promotion, an accolade, and some days I don’t receive a “thank you”, but I know that what I am doing is not in vain, and that is what motivates me.
I gave up looking for “success”, and I started focusing on what raising successful children looks like. Not children who go on to make lots of money, get fancy degrees, or are the next big sports star. I focus on raising children who will be successful because they have a foundation of love, care, boundaries, safety, a happy home, and a mother who is a mess- but loves The Lord and that spills over and out in my actions and words- even when that means asking for forgiveness when I fail. I pray that my children chase their dreams, but more importantly I pray that they are able to embrace whatever calling is on their life.
I never have helped pass a bill in Washington, I’ve never sang on the stage at The Grand Ole’ Opry (although I do still love sequins, fringe, and cowgirl boots), and letters don’t come before or after my name to indicate a prestigious degree earned. I’ve never started and ran a successful business, and I’ve never won an award. I’ve never made a new discovery, and I won’t be featured in a magazine in the foreseeable future for anything notable. My name is not known around the world or even widely known in my own town.
BUT, I have a stepson who I’ve been blessed to watch grow into an incredible young man. I have a little boy that asks me 14,000 questions a day, is sharp as a tack, smothers me in his hugs and is glued to my side. I have a little girl with fiery red hair that has my personality and spunk and is absolutely the cause of any greys or wrinkles I possess. I have two children coming into my family that God has chose me to be their mother, and he believes that I can be the one to show them what a momma looks like. I have a husband that cheers me on, encourages me, and works hard in his calling, so I can work hard in mine. I think I have it all and more. My “success” is not what the world wants me to believe successful looks like, but I am certain that for me, no award, no achievement, no honor would ever be greater than being a mom. I am no longer interested in feeling the need to measure up or be something I’m not. I support the other women in my life in their call, and I recognize that each of us are uniquely gifted and we can all be used in our own way. I know for myself that being a mom absolutely IS enough and I am so humbled that is the call that was placed on my life.6. How do you reset?
I wake up before the rest of my house everyday. A 5 AM wakeup call felt downright cruel at first, but now I cherish the time I have in the peace and quiet each morning. A cup of coffee, fuzzy slippers, and time in the word is what I need. I am a much better mom when I set the tone and start for my day versus being woken up and immediately being needed. It is important to find time for yourself. It is not selfish to need a minute to center your thoughts and quiet your mind, it is human. I try hard to recognize when I am feeling stretched too thin. I cancel when I need to. I say no when I can’t and I don’t feel the need to explain every time I can’t do something. I live a busy life, but I also find time to slow down as much as I can, and there are some seasons I have needed this more than others. I think the key to finding rest and peace is being able to be in the quiet, putting away your phone, and just be. If I need a reset during the day, if we are just having a day that is not going good I BLAST worship music. In my house, in my car, my kids probably think “Ugh oh! Mom is losing it again...” But, I would rather them see me turn to worship than anything else when I feel overwhelmed! It works!7. Where do you find your strength during challenging times?
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