4. Charis Musick Q&A
1. What does being a mom mean to you?
Being a mom has expanded for me since becoming a mom of children no longer with us due to miscarriage and stillbirth. It’s expanded to the women who for years have mothered those in need of care, concern, guidance, endearing love and tough love. Sometimes they have birthed the children they mother and often times they don’t. They’re often the mothers who deserve to be recognized on Mother’s Day, but also often don’t. They’ve raised and released many and look for no praise. To me it’s a facet or part of my identity and who I was created to be. It’s enduring and coming alongside with a heart to lead, love, and point out gold in others.
Being a mom has expanded for me since becoming a mom of children no longer with us due to miscarriage and stillbirth. It’s expanded to the women who for years have mothered those in need of care, concern, guidance, endearing love and tough love. Sometimes they have birthed the children they mother and often times they don’t. They’re often the mothers who deserve to be recognized on Mother’s Day, but also often don’t. They’ve raised and released many and look for no praise. To me it’s a facet or part of my identity and who I was created to be. It’s enduring and coming alongside with a heart to lead, love, and point out gold in others.
2. What is the hardest thing you've done being a mother?
I have to say the hardest thing I’ve done being a mother was leaving our son at the hospital after he was born with no heartbeat. That was singlehandedly the hardest day of my life.
3. What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
I have to say the hardest thing I’ve done being a mother was leaving our son at the hospital after he was born with no heartbeat. That was singlehandedly the hardest day of my life.
3. What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
Loving through the easy and hard. Being trusted with the tears and hearts of those I mother. Being a safe place. That’s my favorite part.
4. Is there a moment or event that changed the way you view motherhood?
4. Is there a moment or event that changed the way you view motherhood?
There is! My husband and I have tried expanding our family for almost 6 years. Within that time, we’ve suffered 2 losses. After mothering others my whole life and desiring to be a mom since I was a little girl, my view of motherhood changed after having and losing our second son. I remember the day the Lord showed me how I’ve always been a mother as a carrier of the mother-heart of God. Where I’ve been a nurturer to friends and classmates both older and younger, to the youth in the shelter I used to work at. It’s who I am and who I was created to be. It was that day that shifted my perspective of including myself as a mother beyond a woman who has conceived children though having none to show, but as a woman who has mothered... like the aunts, grandmas, teachers, and plenty other women who have mothered in the stead of and alongside the woman who conceived.
5. Do you feel like your purpose has shifted before and after becoming a mom?
5. Do you feel like your purpose has shifted before and after becoming a mom?
Absolutely! My dad told me about this faith-based fertility support group called @Momsinthemaking based in Dallas the week of our first son’s birthday after I wrote a birthday tribute to him on my blog. That same week I attended the local group in Springfield for the first time and during our 2 Week Wait. We found out we were pregnant. I kept attending group, but into my 2nd trimester went into preterm labor. Over a year later of processing, working, and growing through grief I was a different and stronger woman. This last January I started leading the group I started attending March 2018. Through my journey with delayed fertility and loss, I now get to instill hope in and encourage other women who are believing for miracles.
6. How do you reset?
6. How do you reset?
My reset typically is a mix of journaling, crying, intentional time with life-giving friends usually in a local coffee shop, and exposure to nature where I feel closest to God.
7. Where do you find your strength during challenging times?
7. Where do you find your strength during challenging times?
Before answering this question, I want you to know that this isn’t trite, but this is true to the core of my being. My strength in challenging times truly comes from Jesus by way of the Holy Spirit. Deep grief showed me this more than any other challenging time in my life. I had the support of my community, my support system... but when it’s months down the road and your grief is out of sight and out of mind to those community and you still feel it as real as the skin on your body, your strength has to be pulled from somewhere. My husband was absolutely encouraging and a safe place, but when I was alone or when I had to get back to work or Zadok’s birthday came around or his first Christmas or just life having to resume knowing our nursery and my arms were empty, my strength had to come from the only One who says “My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor.12:9). The joy of the Lord truly is my strength. Reliance on Him really is the source of my strength. Jesus is my hope.
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Moms in the Making
Faith-Based Fertility Support
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